Most Effective Way To Lose Your Shit!

Hi, my name is Ebony and I’m a stay at home mom losing her shit with two kids, a 3 year old and a 2 month old. I drink water, coffee, and wine rotational.

Here’s my story.

I wake up various times throughout the night to poopy diapers from the baby and in the am to a wet pull up from the toddler because he insists on making this potty training thing difficult AF. Every night I declare I’ll wake up two hours before the kids to shower, read, basically do anything for self and every morning I snooze my alarm a million times and we wake up all over the damn place. As I brush my teeth the baby is screaming because she wants to eat and the toddler is telling me he wants milk.
Meanwhile my head is spinning, trying to figure out where to start! My top is covered in leaking breast milk because the infant slept throughout the night and my boobs didn’t get the memo that they’d be off for the evening.

So you’d think I’d change my top right! Well that’s a new mission. Looking for the perfect pajamas because I have no intentions on going outside... but laundry is everywhere, I don’t even know where to begin. Not to mention in the midst of chaos my phone is constantly ringing because for some strange reason people think that just because I’m home it means that I’m not doing shit when they have no idea that this is by far the hardest, most time consuming gig I’ve ever had in my life.

Crying, nagging, and a ringing phone while trying to find clean pajamas! Shit gets interesting. I finally get the baby down for a nap to cook breakfast and the toddler wants nothing to do with it. I brought Paw Patrol waffles because I thought they’d be a hit and blueberries because he’s been a bit obsessed with them only for him to ask for pancakes & cherries. You win some & you lose some.
Toddler 1 - Mom 0.

I finally sit down, attempt to drink my coffee which is now extremely cold, open a book, as soon as I turn the page, baby cries and all of sudden the toddler has to poop. They literally smell me get comfortable and devise a plan to f my shit up. Up the steps we go to the potty with baby on the boob so the other can poop.

It’s not even noon yet. The toddler hasn’t stopped talking, my head is pounding and at that moment I realize, I never ate my damn breakfast. Meanwhile, I am breastfeeding every two hours, teaching a toddler days of the week, shapes, reading books, there are toy cars all over my table, floor, and steps, laundry needs to be folded, dishes need to be washed, I’m changing diapers, pumping milk, cheering on a toddler while he uses the bathroom, trying to respond to text messages, pee without the house falling to shambles while I’m away for a minute and EAT. These kids don’t care if I eat.

I also do majority of the cleaning & dinner is always prepared by 6. A modern day housewife, the kind that cooks & cleans but talks of type of shit to her husband when he gets home telling him what he needs to do. It’s definitely beautiful chaos. I’m never not busy, if one kid is sleep, please believe the other one is up and very active. If I do answer the phone, make it quick or simply text. Actually don’t call unless it’s an emergency. Texts are responded to immediately or days later.

As I sit here writing this, I’m accepting this is my new normal for awhile while also thinking of all the many things that must be completed before I go to sleep. Anxiety has kicked in yet my crazy ass is also thinking it’d be cool if I had another kid, maybe another boy?! And boom there it is, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m absolutely positively losing my mind as you can see. Throw me in the looney bin because clearly all my screws are loose!

Good Luck Mamas expecting or even working on baby #2! :)