Ambitions As A Plant Mom
Plants. As much as I atheistically love them, I’m seriously reevaluating this relationship. I can’t keep them alive for shit. I literally watch them in their final days, google how to save their lives, forget what I was supposed to do and then they are gone. Paul and Cam make jokes about it. “Mommy, why your plants look like that” Cam asks. He’s 3. Kids humble you.
It wasn’t until this pandemic that I was even interested in becoming a “plant mom”. Literally out of boredom. My first babies are named “Tine” & “Rona”. So that’s the inspiration. Proudly I can say they are still hanging in there.
My money tree, affectionately named “Reign” because the day I purchased her it was raining is still holding on tight as well and I’m so thankful because she’s my favorite. The others I’d rather not name drop are in critical condition or expired (my last job used that term when patients died). Weird that I’m using it now but hey.
Prior to the pandemic, FAUX was life aside from our palm. We had one real palm for years that Paul invested his time and love into. We said our goodbyes to it when we relocated. My only responsibility was to make sure our faux plants from Ikea stayed in great looking plant pots.
The benefits of having real plants in the home are endless. It became an attractive hobby. I immediately started pinning plant Pinterest boards and imagining how my home would look covered in them. I shoulda did some research first. Like maybe what are the best plants for beginner plant moms? Or which plants don’t require much maintenance?
You know shit like that.
I believe in helping out my fellow beginner planters so I did some research and created a list of plants that are the lowest maintenance green things on the block.
Aloe Vera: You can water as little as every two to three weeks.
ZZ Plant: Grows slow, costs more, but you can go a year without watering it.
Snake: AKA Mother in laws tongue: water every two weeks
Money Tree: Thrives in indirect light, water once a week
Jade: These plants love light, sit them in a bright room. Keep the soil moist.
Spider: Keep it moist not soggy. Non toxic, safe for pets and young children.
Bromeliads: Bright light without sun exposure, stay moist not soggy
Lucky Bamboo: (my newest babies) Bambi & Bambino; deflects negative energy, indirect light, different number of stalks mean different things
Pothos: Best in bright direct light but holds up in indirect light as well
Just to name a few.
So before you become a plant mommy, do some research and figure what plants works best for who you are as a person!
Hope this helps.