I Disappear Sometimes, It's My Thing

It’s okay to disappear, I’m a firm believer that it’s good for the soul, a cleanse of some sort.

I’ll fight hard for anyone who agrees that it’s okay to not respond to texts, or answer calls when you aren’t okay or even if you just want to stay off the radar for a bit.

Some days you just need to isolate yourself. You don’t want to be responsible for saving everyone’s day, you don’t feel like being that listening ear nor do you feel like handing out advice to an adult that’s gonna do whatever they wanna do anyway. For me, I just don’t feel like wasting my time. Especially when I have my own shit going on.

It’s always been in my nature to be the friend that’ll listen to you vent, listen to your dreams, listen to you order food just because you want someone on the phone with you not caring that I’m driving with two kids in the back crying while I’m asking “what you say” every five seconds trying to hear about your life amidst my own chaos. I’ll be her as often I can. But when I can’t, don’t trip.

I’ve always held in my own shit to be brave & strong for others. So there are days I need days to regress, days to just figure out my feelings, days to write it all out & come up with a plan on how to get out of the box. There are days I overthink about everything. Way too many tabs are open to comprehend anyone’s else’s life.

Yup, I disappear. It’s not personal, it’s a form of self care and it’s necessary. I think all of my Sagittarius can agree. My full time moms can agree too. You know how you are always on someone else’s time, being unavailable in any sense if possible is a breath of fresh air.

When I need to organize my brain, I clear the noise. I indulge in me, deleting social media for a bit, binge watching something new, cooking, cleaning, shopping online, reading, writing, just simply doing what I like and learning about what I absolutely need. I literally just do my thing w/o distraction well except the little people I live with.

If you takeaway anything from this, always remember “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Some days you have to fill it up by any means necessary. Even if it’s something so chill.

Signed,

The Queen Of Disappearing Acts

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Ebony BecklesComment